This “Copy and Paste” is Really Neat!

                                                                                     By Dave Hamby

              I’m slowly learning how to use this computer.   In the course of doing so I’m discovering some features that are nothing short of awesome.   My function du-jour is “copy and paste”.   When you use “copy and paste” (like I just did right there) you can really save some time.

              I wish I had “copy and paste” (did it again) back when I was in school.   One particular incident that comes to mind was in Junior High when I had to write, “I will never again remove the rubber tip from Mr. Hernland’s cane” a thousand times.

              Now there were ample times that any punishment I got was well deserved, and times when I did stuff I should have been punished for and didn’t, but this was one incident when I was completely innocent of any wrong doing.

              Mr. Hernland taught World Geography when I was in the 8 th grade.   He was a navigator in World War II and had somehow gotten one of his legs messed up.   He loved talking about his adventures fighting “the Krauts” and could do so for entire class periods.   Sometimes when the bell would ring he’d just go on making the next class listen to the end of his tale.

              While he’d wax on eloquently he’d take this cane he had, hold it out at arms length and prop himself up against the wall with it.   Doing this he could stand on his good leg and drone on forever.

              It was about mid year when I came in to class early and discovered I was the only one there.   I’d no more than taken my seat when another student (who I’ll call Bobby Finkface) came into the room (I won’t use his real name in case he’s a lawyer now or can afford to have one on retainer).   Bobby spotted Mr. Hernland’s cane unattended next to his desk.

              Without any hesitation Bobby grabbed the cane, removed the rubber tip, threw it in the trash, and then returned the cane back to its original place.   Bobby wasn’t even in his seat when Mr. Hernland came stumping back into the classroom.

              Now I should have told Mr. Hernland what Bobby had done, but you see, I’d just moved to Texas from Germany and it was my kinfolk he always went on about killing.   On more than one occasion he referred to me as “a little Hiney,” but I can’t remember if that was before or after the cane incident.

              Anyway, class started and Mr. Hernland felt compelled to tell us about one of his great missions.   As soon he’d gotten warmed up he grabbed the cane, thrust it straight out and leaned against the wall.   This timewithout the rubber tip the cane climbed straight up the wall and Mr. Hernland went crashing to the floor with a resounding THUD.

              I thought this was about the funniest thing I’d ever seen in my life.   It was only when a red faced Mr. Hernland began to gather himself up from the floor that I realized I was the only kid laughing.

              All of my classmates, with the exception of Bobby Finkface, were so stunned at what had just happened that they just sat there with their mouths agape.   Bobby was sitting there with his arms crossed, grinning at me with the knowledge that I was in some big trouble.

              Well Mr. Hernland had no trouble snatching me out of my seat and dragging me down to the office to a vice principal with a big paddle.   My getting a beating wasn’t enough for Mr. Hernland.   That’s why I had to write, “I will never again remove the rubber tip from Mr. Hernland’s cane” a thousand times.   (Heh, heh, heh.   Just copy and pasted again.)

              I’m sure I learned a valuable lesson then.  A lesson I wouldn’t have learned if I had this computer with this really neat “copy and paste” feature. (One last time)   I just don’t remember what that lesson is.

              “I will never again remove the rubber tip from Mr. Hernland’s cane” a thousand times. (Oops!   Didn’t mean to do that one.)